So This Is My Life
by TotallyCrazy-TotallyAwesome
Summary: Katya thought she was a normal teenage girl. Then she was told she was adopted and her older brother takes her and inrtoduces her to a whole new world. And her life changes completly. Rated T for Language.
1. Maybe Not All Is Lost

**First chapter of the re-do enjoy**

**Maybe Not All is Lost**

**Remus' P.O.V**

It was a normal day for me wake up, somehow find something to get out of bed for, drink two cups of coffee, go for a walk and wallow in self pity, come home and have something to eat yet again wallowing in self pity but my afternoon activity of crying over the losses I haven't gotten over yet was interrupted from a visitor, Albus Dumbledore, my old headmaster.

"Hello, Sir" I said with a croaky voice quickly wiping my eyes of tears

"Ah Remus, I thought you would be with your mother at St Mungos, so I went there first but they said you haven't been in for a couple of days, tell me what's wrong?" he said sitting in the arm chair across from me

"Nothing I just can't handle being in there with her now that I know the truth" I said fresh tears spilling out from my eyes

"The truth of what" Albus asked handing me a tissue

"That my father isn't my father and that I have a younger sister around the age of fifteen but she never replied to her letter from Hogwarts" I said

"Ah yes Katya, I was worried when I received no word from her, then Minerva went to see what was wrong and Linda Anderson told her that they don't want anything to do with our school, but I believe Katya knows nothing of Hogwarts or her heritage"

"So everyone knew except for me! I bet James, Peter Sirius and Lily knew as well!" I shouted banging my fists on the coffee table

"Remus rest assured no one else but your mother, Minerva and I know about Katya, but I am not here to talk about your sister, well actually I am, I'm here for two things, firstly I would like to offer you a job as Defence against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts"

"Sir I can't, you took a great risk letting me study at Hogwarts I don't want to test your luck by going there to teach" I said looking him in the eyes

"Remus, there is a potion that Severus can brew called wolfsbane potion, if you drink every day starting a week before the full moon you will keep you mind during the transformation and will be no more dangerous than a small puppy" the older man said smiling at me

"And why on earth would Snivellus be willing to help me?" I asked spitefully

"Because I asked him to, and he is not the boy he was at school he has matured as I hope you have too"

"I have but I still don't understand why you're offering the job to me surely there are far more qualified witches and wizards out there who would be happily take the job"

"I'm sure there are, and this brings me to my second reason, Katya needs t attended Hogwarts her guardian won't let her so she needs to live with someone who will as her own flesh and blood you have legal rights muggle and wizarding to take her into your custody" Albus said "which is why I am offering you the job so you can support the two of you"

"And if I don't want to?" I asked

"you are good man Remus which is why I don't believe for a second that you would let someone suffer family or not, and she is suffering, quite badly which is why we must intervene and take her away from where she is, you are the only one who can do that, so I will leave with the job offer and Katya's address, number six privet drive, good day" he said standing up and walking out of the door.

I have a sister, I could take her away from where she is apparently suffering and I could have a job doing what I've always wanted to do and would happily be doing if it wasn't for the face that I was a werewolf. I can't if I take the job I would be endangering the lives of children and if I don't take the job I can't support Katya, but the question is how is she suffering? Maybe I could go I guess I thought to myself.

By then I was already apperating to the end of privet drive. Three teenagers sitting on a round about at a park two of them saw more but by their reaction I guess they know about the wizarding world. The boy I swear he could be James, but he can't be and it would be pure luck if he was Harry and I don't have any luck so I doubt that it is.

**Hope the it is starting to make sense now don't forget to review**


	2. There Isn't Anyone To Tell

**There Isn't Anyone To Tell**

**Katya's P.O.V**

Finally first day of the summer holidays which means Harry and Annabel my two best friends and the only good things in my life are coming home from boarding school today which means I can spend less time at home with my mother. Another few minutes and the Dursley's car will pull up number four privet drive with Harry and the Anderson's car will pull up number eight with Annabel then we all meet out side my house and go to the park just a bit up the road. We do this every year. This is only the second year Harry's been gone but the fourth year Annabel has been gone. It's a bit weird that they both got a scholarship to the same school but I've learnt to live with it.

And there go the cars I'll give it one more minute and I'll go. Stuff I'm going now. I ram downstairs and crept past the living room so my mum wouldn't hear and out the door

"Kat!" Harry yelled running at me

"Harry!" I yelled engulfing him in a hug

"Well no I feel really left out" Annabel complained standing next to her

"Bel!" Harry and I both yelled hugging her

"I missed you guys" I said as we started heading toward the park

"So how was school?" Bel asked me

"Same as usual although I did kick Dudley for you Harry" I said proud of my self

"Why?" Harry asked

"He was being his usual self and it pissed me off so I kicked him, sorry if it gets you in trouble though"

"It's okay"

"So how was school for you guys?" I asked as we reached the park and sat on the round-about

"Average, Fred and George got more detentions than I can count, but that is about it, oh and the teachers started preparing us for our exams and our ummm... English teacher went absolutely mental so he got fired" Bel said

"Didn't your English teacher before that get really ill and die or something?" I asked

"Yeah" Harry said

"Well your school isn't having a good run of English teachers is it?" I said laughing slightly

"No" Harry said. We carried on talking about school for a good hour and a half. It was fun until Harry started complaining about his uncle's sister coming to stay for the holidays

"She always brings a dog a really ugly one, and she treats me worse than the Dursley's" He moaned

"Oh Harry shut up your sounding worse than Moaning Myrtle" Bel complained

"Who?" I asked

"Oh err she's umm-"Bel started

"She's a girl that gets upset over the smallest things and mans about everything and always cries in the girls' bathroom" Harry said very quickly. I didn't miss the glare he shot Bel though but decided to ignore thinking he obviously

"Oh" I said. Ever sine Bell left to go to this school I've felt like she was hiding something from me and Harry but when Harry started it got worse, and since last year Bell has been feeling more and more distant from me. And she never replies to my letter that I give her mum to send her, but her mum has never liked so I just assume that she's just not sending them and I don't bother with writing to Harry because I know his aunt and uncle won't pass the letter on to him.

"Mmmhmm" Bell said

"Who's that Kat?" Harry asked looking behind me

"Who?" I asked

"Him" Bell said, pointing to a man walking up my drive way he had brown greying hair and a hunched back, but that was all I could I see, he didn't look familiar though

"Know idea, let's go find out" I said

"You go" Bell said

"I'll come" Harry said standing up

"Okay I'll se you guys later then" Bell snapped standing up and storming off to her house

"Come on" Harry said heading towards my house. We walked slowly towards my house, when we got to the door I opened only to be greeted by a very angry mother and the strange man

"Hi" I said

"Where have you been?" my mum yelled

"Out" I said simply

"Don't get smart with girl" she snapped

"I'm not if I was you'd be lost" I said I new that was a stupid thing to say before she raised her hand to slap me across the face, I heard Harry and the other man gasp and her hand collided with my cheek

"I said don't get smart with me" she hissed

"And your heard what I said" I said walking into the living room with Harry hot on my heels

"Kat?" he asked worriedly as I sat on the floor in the corner of the room

"Harry?" I said

"How many times" he said sitting beside me

"All the time" I said trying not to cry

"Kat you should have told someone"

"There never is anyone here to tell!" I yelled tears running down my face despite my efforts to stop them.

**There your go chapter two I'm going to try and get chapter three up soon like hopefully before I got to bed but I might not so don't forget to review 3**


	3. Best Friends

**Best Friends**

**Remus' P.O.V**

I knocked on the door of number six and a short woman with dark brown eyes short blonde hair and a strong smell of alcohol greeted me as the door opened

"Who are you?" the woman asked gruffly

"Remus Lupin pleased to meet you" I said politely even though I wasn't that pleased to meet she looked like she would be horrible company

"And what do you want, Lupin" she asked motioning with her hand for me to come in

"I was wondering if the was the house of Linda Anderson?" I asked

"Yes and what exactly is it you want" she snapped at me

"Is Katya home?" I asked

"Girl!" she yelled up stairs, she called again after a minute and when there was no answer she stormed up stairs banged on a door opened it slammed it shut and came storming back down muttering something about how Katya was in so much trouble. Just as Linda reached for the door it opened to reveal one of the girls and the boy from the park down the road.

"Hi" the girl, I assume is Katya, said

"Where have you been!" Linda yelled

"Out" Katya said matter-of-factly shrugging her shoulders

"Don't get smart with me girl" Linda snapped

"I'm not if I was you'd be lost" she said with a smug smile on her face before that was replace with a look of regret and then a look of pure terror as Linda's hand came down and slapped her across the face, I gasped involuntarily as did the boy that came with Katya. I couldn't help but notice how much he looked like James but he had green eyes the same green as Lily's were. Where was it Lily's sister lived again? I had a feeing it might have been privet drive which means this boy could quite possibly be Harry Potter.

"I said don't. Get. Smart. With. Me" Linda hissed in her face

"And you heard what I said" Katya hissed walking into the living room with possibly could be Harry hot on her heels. I looked at Linda in shock she just glared back as if daring me to follow them, so I did

"How many times?" Possibly could be Harry asked sitting down next to Katya and pulling her into a hug

"All the time" she said obviously trying not to cry to try and sty long, I guess that was a genetic thing that ran through the family

"Kat you should have told someone" he scolded her

"There is any one to tell, Harry!" she yelled the tears she was trying to hold in spilling over her eyes

"Kat, there is always someone to tell, heck you probably could of told my aunt and uncle and they would of done something about it, as horrid as they are I don't think they'd let someone be treated like this" Harry said

"Well, what happens happens and it happened" she said resting her head on his shoulder

"Katya?" I said moving further into the living the room

"Yes" she said

"I'm Remus Lupin" I said

"Hello" she said smiling

"Hello" I said sitting down in front of her and Harry

"I don't mean to sound rude but what do you want" she asked

"Well it's to do with your family" I said trying to figure out how to tell her who I am and who her family is

"What about them? Are you social worker? Because if you are and your going to take me away take Harry too because he slept in a cupboard for eleven years" she said obviously not wanting to leave him

"What?" I asked shocked Dumbledore will be hearing about this

"Kat drop it" Harry said "so what do you have to say about her family?" defiantly Lily and James' son

"well she was adopted I think, her real mother is in a hospital called St Mungos and she sent me to come and find Katya because she wants to see you before she dies" I said

"And how do you know this?" Harry asked, bloody hell he is James' son not trusting anyone until every bit of information is squeezed out of them

"I'm her brother" I said looking Katya in the eyes

"I believe him" Katya said

"Okay my next question is why do you keep looking at me like you know me

"Uh long story" I said not wanting to tell him I knew his mum and dad, I don't know why I didn't want to tell him I just didn't

"Uh huh, and would the hospital be St Mungos for magical injuries?"

"Yes"

"So would Kat ne attending Hogwarts?"

"Yes"

"What?" Katya asked

"You're a witch" Harry said

"Gee thanks" she said sarcastically

"No seriously I'm a wizard I'm guessing Remus is to and your mum is probably a witch and Bell defiantly is. The school we go to is or witches and wizards it's we learn how to use our magic, the foot ball team I'm on is actually a quidditch team which is a wizarding sport" He said excitedly "it's a good thing Kat it means you'll be at school with me and Bell and we won't have to hide anything from you any more and we'll get to see each other more"

"it sounds great, but both you and Bell went to this school at eleven saying you got a letter saying you have scholarship I never did so what if I'm not actually magical what if the gene skipped me" Katya said

"no it didn't Linda sent the letters back and when someone came to talk to you about it she sent them away, I'm guessing she never told you about it but you are meant to be at Hogwarts" I said

"So will I be going to live with you?" she asked me

"Yes if you would like to" I said

"I would but,"

"But what Kat you can't stay here" Harry said

"I don't want to leave you on your own, Bell is changing and will ditch you soon then you'll have no one to talk to or hang out with" she said

"I'm sure I'll survive six weeks, but if you stay here there's a possibility you won't" Harry said "now go with Remus be happy and I'll see you soon, we can meet up at Diagon alley when we get our school supplies"

"Fine but promise we will" Katya said sticking her pinkie out

"I promise" Harry said inking his pinkie with hers "I'll help you pack"

"I have a quicker way" I said pulling my wand out

"I think I love magic already" Katya said leading us to her room where she got a big suit case out I waved my wand and all of her belongings flew into the bag and it shut it's self and zipped up.

"I'll right to you Harry" Katya said engulfing him in a hug

"I'll write back, the Dursley's won't let me let Hedwig out of her cage so I can't write" Harry said

"Arseholes, I'll see you when the lists get to us then" Katya said

"Maybe sooner "Harry said

"That's be cool" Katya said

"I've got to go. The Dursley's will kill me otherwise, bye" Harry said running out of the house

"Bye!" Katya called after him

"This is going to be uncomfortable but we have to do, take my hand" I said

"Uncomfortable how?" she asked taking my hand

"You'll see" I said as we apparated to my house and she vomited.

**Told I'd try and get it up before I went to bed and I succeeded but it is currently 1:06 am and I am falling asleep at the computer so enjoy and please review**


	4. Goodbye

**Even though I got no reviews I want to post this chapter because I want to and I stayed up till 4am writing it so I'm posting it with out the reviews so count your selves lucky. **

**And we're going back to Katy's POV unless I say other wise. **

**Goodbye**

"What the hell was that, may I ask?" I said. A minute we were room now we're standing alley way throwing up, well I was throwing up, and however we got here was extremely uncomfortable it felt like I was being squeezed through a tube.

"We might be able floo from St Mungos. Come on" Remus said leading me out of the alley way right into the hustle and bustle of London.

Surely there can't be a magical hospital here someone would of spotted it by now right? Remus was walking very fast and I was having a hard keeping up as I was still dizzy from whatever the hell we did to get here.

"Fuck sake" I mumbled to myself "Remus slow down!" I shouted after him

"Oh sorry" he said slowing his pace to match mine. We walked in silence until we reached a run down shop called Porge & Dowse Ltd. The displays were at least ten years out of date and there was a large sign on the door that read "closed for refurbishment"

Remus leaned in looking at an extremely ugly dummy with false eyelashes falling off and wearing a green nylon tunic

"Hell" he said to it which is completely stupid because it's a dummy and dummy's can't hear "We're here to see Violet Lupin" I think I may have agreed to come with a crazy person but to my surprise the dummy gave a nod and beckoned with it's finger Remus grabbed my wrist and pulled through thee window with him

"What the fuck" I muttered as we entered into a busy reception area. Still holding onto my wrist Remus guided me up several flights of stairs into a ward where a woman in greed robes and long black hair tied into a pony tail fussing over a woman with long grey hair blue eyes with dark bags under them despite the fact that she looked in immense pain and almost dead she smiled brightly when me and Remus walked in.

"Remus and Katya?" the doctor I guess asked as she walked towards us. Remus nodded in response "she's been asking for you but I don't know how mush longer she can hold on for so I would advise being quick" she said smiling sadly at us "if anything happens press this button" she said handing me a small square with a red button on it and walking out.

"Hi mum" Remus said waving his wand so two chairs appeared either side of the bead

"Remus" she said in a croaky voice

"How are you?" he asked her sitting in one of the chairs while I sat in the other

"I've been better" she said smiling slightly "I'm glad you came I didn't think you would after your last visit"

"I was shocked I need time to process" he said

"And I see you did" she said her eyes settling on me

"Yes" he said to her then to me "Katya this is your mum"

"Hi" I said taking a seat in the other chair and letting my hand go to the scar on my left cheek like it always does when I'm Nervous

"Hello dear, I guess Remus has told you everything" she said

"Yes" I said

"Really?" she said looking at Remus shocked

"Not everything just the basics" he said. There's more to know? I thought shocked "I'll explain later it's a bit of a tough topic" he said looking at me

"Everything you've said today is a tough topic" I retorted

"Later" he promised

"Don't think for one second I'll forget" I said pointing at him over our mum

"She's just as stubborn as you I see" she said laughing only to break in to a coughing fit, when she finally stopped she took both of our hands in hers " Remus remember to be happy, it's not your fault and you deserve a good life, your not a monster your a wonderful ma who has just had horrible things happen to you" she said looking him in the eye and then turning to me "Katya, I'm glad I finally got to meet you before I went. I hope you'll be happy, and I ask of you to look after Remus, and to look after yourself" she said coughing again "I love you both" she managed to say before going still her breathing stopping her hand limp in mine

"Mum?" Remus said shaking her shoulder tears brimming in his eyes "um" he said again. I gently placed her hand by her side and pressed the button that the doctor left us. She showed up as soon as my finger was off the button. I walked over to where Remus was still sitting trying to wake our mum up and gently removed her hand from his and pulled him away so the doctor, who told me the wizarding term is healer, could to get to our mum.

He held onto me like he was afraid I would disappear like I was the only thing he had left. Which I guess could be true, how much do I actually know about this grief stricken man who was holding onto me as if his life depended on it, nothing that's what, but did I trust him with my life? Did I feel his pain? Did I want his pain to stop? Yes I did and I was going to keep my promise. I was going to look after him after him help him move on because something about him screamed that he's alone

"Do you want to go home?" I asked softly. He shook his head watching as the healer lifted the sheets over mum's head

"Come on we'll go get a coffee" I said tugging at his hand. I wanted him out of here so he can clear his head. He reluctantly followed me out of the room and up some stairs to the tea room where I ordered him a long black and me a mocha and a slice of chocolate cake for us to share.

"Life has funny ways of turning it's self around, you know" I said as I sat down with our drinks and cake. E just mumbled and took a sip of his coffee. We sat in silence drinking and eating the only sound from our table was the occasional sniff from Remus until the healer came in to tell us what we already knew and that she's sorry for our loss and she wishes us the best of health.

We were walking past the gift shop on our way out when Remus stopped by a news paper, which had a man with long black hair a sign of some sort screaming at the camera. I was going to ask about the moving picture but Remus was staring at the head line that read "SIRIUS BLACK MASS MURDURER ESCAPPED" with more tears pooling in his eyes and a look of pure loathing on his face. He grabbed my hand and roughly pulled out his wand and did what ever we done earlier into a small apartment where a man in purple robes with a long grey hair and beard with half moon glasses over twinkling blue eyes was standing.

**Hope you liked it pretty please review :) also I'm sill looking for a beta if any ones interested thanks :)**


	5. Authors note please read

**Hi Y'all**

**Okay so you know how I had already written this story then I started to re-write? Yeah? Cool 'cause I'm having trouble trying to write what happens in the months before Christmas and i have a Christmas chapter. So would you guys be okay if I do short drabbles up until Christmas or just skip straight to Christmas or what? **

**Thanks for the help**

**TotallyCrazy-TotallyAwesome **


	6. Meeting The Trio

**Hi I'm back with a chapter/Drabble whatever and I have a beta ML143 sosay hi everyone yay happy Easter eat lots a chocolate :)**

"Hey I know you!" a boy with bright red hair said sitting next to me on the train

"Weasley right?" I asked

"Yeah you're Katy, right?"

"Katya" I corrected

"Oh yeah I remember now" he said "hang on a second" he said poking his head out of the door "Hey Harry! Hermione! In here" he yelled I heard a girl answer and then running footsteps and the door opened again

"KAT!" Harry yelled jumping on me and wrapping his arms around me

"Harry! You're to big to be doing that now" I laughed pushing him off. He fell onto the floor and bumped into Remus who grunted causing the Weasley kid Harry and the bushy haired girl to jump

"Who's that?" Weasley asked shocked

"My brother" I answered "he's going to be Defence Against the Dark Arts"

"I hope he's good the last teacher we had taught us nothing and was a complete fraud and the one before that had Voldemort in the back of the head!" Weasley explained

"Ron, I'm pretty sure we're not meant to be telling people about Quirrle" Bushy hair scolded

"Sorry" he mumbled. I just laughed at the two of them which caused the other three to laugh with me. Bushy hair was the first to stop then me then Harry then Ron

"This is gonna sound rude but what's your name? 'Cause I've just been calling you bushy haired girl" I asked Bushy hair. She laughed a bit and Answered with Hermione

"Well this is gonna be an interesting year, I think" Harry said stretching out next to me

"You think far too much and its dangerous" I said shoving him he just chuckled and shoved me back which caused me to fall onto Ron which made him shove me back harder towards Harry. So naturally I shoved him off the seat and onto the floor.


	7. Dementors

**Boom! so this one is a bit longer and we're getting to know a bit more about Katya and her life before Remus came so enjoy don't for get to review and thanks again to ML143 for **

The train stopped suddenly…

"Surely we can't be there yet," Hermione said shocked.

"I'll check," Harry said getting up and sticking his head out of the door, "I have no idea," He said sitting back down.

"Just wait it out kiddos," I said stretching then the lights went out. "Seriously you go out now?" I asked the lights "You're just freaking the little kids out," I muttered shaking my head.

"Katy," Harry said.

"Yes Harry, dear" I said smiling at me

"Don't get angry at the lights" he said

"H-Harry th-th-theres something moving out there" Ron stuttered leaning up against the window

"Maybe they're picking someone up" Harry said

"They've never done it before" Hermione said

"Maybe we broke down" I suggested

"Impossible" Hermione snapped at me. She is obviously one of those people that can't take a suggestion for anything unless she came up with it.

"Well we've stopped suddenly the lights have gone out and it's fucking cold I'm going with we've broken down" I said

"Gee watch your language" Ron snapped

"fuck off" I muttered

"Kat?" Harry said

"What I snapped

"Calm down and take a deep-" he went ridged and screamed then he collapsed I turned around and saw this giant hooded figure floating about a foot of the ground a horrible scabbed hand gripped the door handle. It was horrible I felt like I'd never be happy again. I could remember times back on privet drive when Linda would beat me when I'd go days without food thinking it would make her love me or like me just stop hitting me it's all I could remember. I felt the tears running down my face I tried edging away from the thing in the doorway but I couldn't I physically couldn't move. I could feel every one of Linda's slaps punches kicks fell the blood draining from different places the pangs of hunger I ignored still ignore sometimes the feeling of the razor against my wrist the stinging then the numbness.

I was shoved out of the way by Remus he took his wand out and pointed it at the thing he said something I couldn't hear but something burst out of the tip of his wand and it went away. He turned around to face Ron Hermione the still unconscious Harry and me and came straight to me wrapping his arms around me and pulling me towards him

"Shhhh" he said into my hair rubbing my back. He moved slightly and brought a big block of chocolate out of his pocket and broke some pieces of "eat it. It'll make you feel better" he said handing me Ron and Hermione some. I ate it straight away and instantly started feeling better. Ron and Hermione we're looking at it uncertainly. Remus chuckled "it's chocolate. Eat it will make you feel better"

"Err" Harry mumbled we all watched me as he opened his eyes

"Harry!" Hermione said jumping over to him and passing him his glasses

"What, what was that?" he asked

"A Dementor. They guard Azkaban prison I suspect they were searching the train for Sirius Black" Remus said "Here eat this" he said handing Harry the chocolate

"It's chocolate" I croaked when Harry looked at it suspiciously he looked up at me and smiled while eating the chocolate

"Now if you'll excuse me I need to go and talk to the driver I'll see you at school" Remus said giving me a hug and walking out**.**


	8. Fight

**Ahh wow guys so sorry it's been ages :( forgive me? Of course you don't I promise I'll try harder to be better at updating from now on. Well I'll try any ways :)**

The days flew by at Hogwarts. It was amazing here. I was having catch up lessons in the evenings after school in Charms on Monday, Transfiguration on Tuesday, Defence Against the Dark Arts on Wednesday and Potions on Thursday. I was also taking muggle studies which was hilarious because I would answer a question right when the teacher said it was wrong. And history of magic ugh talk about boring! I usually love history but professor Binns just drones on and on someone could die and he wouldn't notice.  
>I'd also made some friends there was Fred and George, Ron's older twins brothers Then Lee Jordan, Katie Bell, Angelina Johnson and Zoe Evans and there was Annabel but she was already my friend. We were all currently sitting in the common room in the boys' room because everyone else was in Hogsmead or enjoying the last nice day before the bad weather hit.<br>"Hey, Lupin" Angelina said  
>"Yuh huh" I said looking up from my Transfiguration homework<br>"Why you such a bitch?" Katie asked me. Ugh, their teaming up against me now? Brilliant I stayed quiet not giving them the benefit of the doubt by being bitchy towards them  
>"She's not a bitch" Zoe said "you just say that about everyone who isn't as horrible as you and ever since Kat stuck up for that second year you were picking on you've been really horrid toward her" I smiled thankfully at her<br>"Yeah Zoe's got a point" George said  
>"Yeah Kitty Kat's not the bitch, you both are" Fred said. I smirked at his nickname for me<br>"You're all gonna side with someone you've known for less than two months over people you've know for five years" Lee asked  
>"What's going on?" Bell asked walking in and sitting next to Katie and Lee<br>"Do you think I'm a bitch?" I asked raising my eyebrow  
>"Yup" she said simply not thinking about it all<br>"Awesome" I said picking my books and walking out of the room. I can handle Katie Angelina and Lee calling me a bitch I've only known them for two months but Annabel I've known her since nursery school and her calling me a bitch cut deep but not as deep as this was gonna cut.  
>I dumped my books on my bed and rooted around in my trunk and found what I was looking for then I went to the bathroom and locked the door I took the razor blade from my makeup bag and pressed up against my wrist sliding it back and forth making the cut deeper and deeper I done this multiple times until I started feeling faint and eventually passed out in a puddle of my own blood<p>

**Is that too much? I don't really know. I'll update as soon as I can. Don't forget to review :)**

**~Beth**


	9. Christmas lead up

**Hello, hello! Yes I am back. This chapter is basically just short little things on the main things that happen before Christmas so enjoy :)**

The bed I was in wasn't my bed. It was too hard compared to my bed in Gryffindor tower and too hard to be my bed back at Remus'. If anything it felt like my bed back on Privet Drive. Surely I couldn't be back there. Remus wouldn't let me go back, would he? I rolled over onto my side groaning as I did.

"Kat?" I heard someone ask

"Mmm?" I asked slowly opening my eyes to see Remus sitting in a chair beside my bed his moon grey eyes full of worry

"Oh thank god" he breathed putting his head in his hands

"W-what happened?" I croaked "Why am I here?"

"You don't remember?" he asked looking up at me. I shook my head sitting up. Then I felt the familiar stinging in my wrists that meant the cuts were healing. My mouthed formed the shape of an o. Remus nodded then got up and climbed onto the bed wrapping his arms around me. I wrapped my arms around him ,too; ignoring the stinging and aching like I always did and rested my head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry" I whispered tears brimming in my eyes

"Promise me you won't do it again" he mumbled squeezing me tightly and burying his face in my hair. I felt his tears wet my hair and realised how selfish I'd been to this. I didn't even think about how this would effect people I'd been thinking about nothing but myself, as per usual.

"I won't I promise. I'm so sorry" I muttered

* * *

><p>Later that day when I went back to Gryffindor tower I was quickly embraced by Harry, then Fred and George, and finally Zoe who led me upstairs our dorm room. She sat me on my bed, closed the curtains, and put a silencing charm around the bed.<br>We sat in silence for a while each of us waiting for the other to talk.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out at the same she asked, "Why?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't know," I admitted looking at my hands folded in my lap. We sat in silence again both of us lost in thought me mentally scolding myself as I had been since this morning when Remus cried.

"It's not your fault," she said causing me to look back up at her. I scoffed lightly and looked back down at my hands. "It's not. Depression is an illness and anything can trigger it. Losing your best friend is one of them," she said, "and I want you to know that if you ever need, no matter what time of day, I'll be there. I promise."

"Thank you," I said leaning forward and hugging her.

* * *

><p>As we were walking from the great hall to Gryffindor tower, we came to an empty portrait.<p>

"Where is she?" Fred asked.

"It's been ripped, like someone tried to get in,. She probably ran," Zoe said lifting up a scrap of paper and holding up.

"Running from what?" George questioned. Honestly I didn't care. I was tired and just wanted to go to bed. I sighed and leaned up against Fred. He looked down at me and smirked as Percy pushed his way to the front of the crowd.

"Excuse me! Excuse me I'm head boy!" he said just as Professor Dumbledore came down another flight of stairs. He asked Filtch to gather up the ghosts to conduct a search of the castle for the Fat Lady, but it turned out she was in portrait near by. We all ended up sleeping in the great hall because it was possible that Sirius Black could be in the school.

"This is mad" Fred whispered as he, George, Zoe and I dragged our sleeping bags into a corner.

"How the hell did he even get in?" Zoe asked, "Hogwarts is the safest place on earth!"

"Where have you been for the past three years?" George asked jokingly.

"Fair point, but still with a mass murderer on the loose you'd expect better security," Zoe said. I was taking no part in the conversation, being too tired, I was just listening with my head resting on Fred's legs.

"Fred? George?" a timid voice asks. I look up to see Ginny Weasley standing there clutching a sleeping bag to her chest. The boys looked up her expectantly. "Percy told me to come over here," she said.

"Can't you go and annoy Ron?" the twins asked at the same time/

"Oh let her stay here," I mumbled into my sleeping bag. I heard Fred chuckle as he ruffled my hair.

"Alright then, but if you snore you're outta here" Fred said. Ginny smiled and lay her sleeping bag down next to mine and climbed in resting her head on Fred's legs like me. "I'm not a pillow you know" he said.

"Yes, you are," I mumbled snuggling deeper into my sleeping bag. I didn't hear his response because I fell asleep before he could say it.

* * *

><p>I was sitting with Zoe in front of the fire place studying for History of Magic while Fred and George were off somewhere doing god knows what.<p>

"Ugh, I give up this, ** is stupid. How do you find it so easy!" she exclaimed dropping her quill on her the floor and rolling onto her back.

"Because I find it interesting," I said ",besides it is pretty easy," I said poking my tongue out at her

"Fine explain it to me," she said rolling back onto her stomach and propping her head up on her elbows like I was. I grinned and began explaining everything to her.

"Kaaat!" Harry called walking into the common room Ron trailing behind, "Oh you're studying sorry," he said.

"No, distract her so I don't have to study for History of Magic," Zoe said. I mock glared at her and she poked her tongue rolling back onto her back and staring up at Harry and Ron. "And may we help the young Potter and Weasley," Zoe asked.

"We wondering what you know about werewolves," Ron said.

"What? Why?" I asked sitting up and staring at them.

"Snape set us homework on it. Two rolls of parchment on werewolves with particular emphasis on recognising them," Harry said.

"Why would he do that? You shouldn't even be on werewolves right now you should be like on Red Caps and Hinkypunks," Zoe said.

"Cause he's an idiot," I said trying hard to control my anger, "but, no, I don't know anything about werewolves."

"I do, so I will teach so I don't have to study" Zoe said happily. Patting the floor beside her indicating for the boys to sit down

"While Professor Evans teaches you two ,I'm gonna go be an annoying little sister," I said jumping up of the floor, "See ya," I said as I walked out of the common room as soon as the door was shut I sprinted through the school to Remus' room and banged on the door.

"Remus!" I yelled urgently. I heard a bang that signified him falling out of bed and instantly felt bad for waking, then I heard the fast foot steps that meant he was running then the door flung open revealing Remus his hair sticking up at odd angles his pyjamas wrinkled and heavy bags under his eyes, yet he looked alert and ready to take on anything.

"What! What is it? What happened!" he asked.

"In," I ordered pointing back into his room. He obeyed and led me into his room sitting down on the sofa

"What's going on?" he asked

"Snape set your third year class an essay on werewolves with particular emphasis on recognising them,I told him bluntly.

"What?" he asked.

"Snape is trying to get your third years to figure out that you're a werewolf and at least one of them is bound to figure it out, you've  
>just got to hope that their someone who doesn't actually give a **" I said<p>

"Right, I'm going to go and have a word, you go study or something" he said standing up

"Okay, bye" I said hugging him and leaving him to get dressed so he can go and have a word with either Snape or Dumbledore.

* * *

><p>"Go, go Gryffindor! Go, go Gryffindor!" The crowd was chanting as the chasers zoomed up and down the field scoring goals as they went. We cheered when Gryffindor scored and booed when Hufflepuff scored. It was hard to see what was going on due to the torrential rain, but we tried our hardest to see what was going on.<p>

"Oh my god!" Zoe yelled pointing up where a body was falling from miles in the air.

"That's Harry!" I exclaimed as I watched him fall ,none of us knowing what to do. Luckily, Dumbledore did, he slowed Harry's falling just before he hit the ground. As he was falling the Hufflepuff seeker, Cedric Diggory, managed to catch the snitch but by that point people were past caring. When Harry hit the floor, we all ran down to the field but where quickly sent away so they could get him to the hospital wing. We waited about an hour before we were allowed to go in and see him. Hermione, Fred George, Ron, Ginny, Zoe and I were all surrounding his bed looking at him. Ron holding the blanket we had wrapped his destroyed broomstick up in to his chest

"Looks a bit peaky doesn't he," Ron asked.

"Peaky?" Fred asked his brother," what'd you expect him to look like? He fell fifty feet"

"Yeah, come on, Ron." George said adding onto what Fred said "We'll walk you off the astronomy tower and see how you come out looking."

"Probably a right sight better than he usually does," Harry joked groggily. Sitting up and putting his glasses back on.

* * *

><p>Zoe, Fred, George and I where outside building a snowman while the majority of the school were down at Hogsmead for the last time before Christmas. We had decided that we'd rather hang around the castle for the day and just play in the snow.<p>

"Hey look," Zoe said pointing to where foot steps were seeming to appearing from no where but we all knew it was Harry. Fred and George shared a look and walked towards the footsteps and turned them around making Harry head in the opposite direction. Me and Zoe grinned at each other and jogged after the twins to catch up.

"Clever, Harry," the twins said.

"But, not clever enough," me and Zoe added.

"Besides we've got a better way," Fred said as they dragged Harry into the entrance hall the invisibility cloak falling off. Fred pulled what I knew to be the marauders map out of his pocket and handed it to Harry who unfolded it and frowned upon seeing it was blank.

"What's this rubbish?" he asked. Zoe and I shook our head as Fred and George went on about how it was the key to their success and how they owe Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs so much.

"Hang on, this is a map of Hogwarts!" Harry exclaimed Shocked "is that..?"

Me- Dumbledore

Zoe- in his office

Fred- Pacing

George- Does that alot

Harry-So this map shows...?

Zoe- Everyone

Fred- Where they re

George- What they're doing

Me- Every minute

"Every day" the four of us concluded together

"Brilliant!" harry exclaimed happily "Where's you get it?"

"Nicked it from Filtch's office, first year of course" Fred said "now listen. There are seven secret passageways out of the caste. But we'd recommend..."

"This one" the twins finished together

"The One-Eyes Witch on the third floor." George explained

"But you best hurry, Filtch is heading this way," I said pointing to Filtch's name on the map.

"Oh, Harry," Fred said, "when you're done, make sure to give it a tap and say..."

"Mischief managed. Otherwise anyone can read it," the twins finished together as Fred tapped the map with his wand. Harry thanked us and ran off with the map in hand and the twins turned to me and Zoe looking like they'd just given away their child.

"You did the right thing boys," Zoe said patting their backs.

"Yeah his needs are greater than yours," I said as we headed to the kitchens for a warm drink.

* * *

><p><strong>So the next chapter will be most likely be Christmas. So I hoped you enjoyed this chapter and thanks again to my beta reader ML143 :) don't forget to review :)<strong>

**~Beth**


	10. Christmas

"Have a good Christmas!" Zoe called as mee Fred and George stood in the entrance hall waving goodbye to her. She was going home for Christmas and the three of us were staying here along with Hermione, Harry and the two younger Weasley's and Percy.

"We'll miss you!" George yelled dramatically falling to his knees

"I don't think we'll make it without you" Fred yelled copying his brother

"Yeah Kat just isn't you Zoe, it won't be the same" George yelled

"Hey!" I exclaimed jokingly hitting him over the head. He fell over holding his head in fake pain

"See she abuses us! Don't leave! We probably won't be alive when you get back! She's an evil cat" Fred yelled

"Oi" I said hitting him too

"Kat won't hit you if you don't annoy her" Zoe yelled climbing onto one of the carriages. We all laughed and yelled goodbye to her then went back inside to the common room.

"I'm gonna go and see Remus, I'll see you guys later" I said they nodded and I headed in the opposite direction towards Remus' office. When I got there I walked straight into his office and saw him cleaning his desk up. "Hi" I said sitting on a desk causing him to jump

"Hello, Kat" he said smiling at me

"What cha doing?" I asked leaning forward slightly

"Cleaning my desk" he answered "are you just here to annoy me?" he asked looking up at me eye brows raised

"No actually I came to remind you that because the full moon is five days away you need to start taking your potion" I said

"I'm aware" he said sitting on his desk opposite me "which reminds me, as the full moon is only three days after Christmas I won't be that fun to spend time with because I'll be tired and grouchy so you're welcome to spend the day with your friends" he said

"I'll spend the morning with you" I said "then after lunch I'll go back to common room, or you could come join us in the common room" I said smiling at him

"I'll see, but for now, go away I've got papers to grade" he said shooing me out of his class room "go study or something"

"No it's the holidays, I refuse!" I yelled as he started to push me out of the room "I shall not study!"

"Lupin" Snape said walking in "your potion" he said putting it on the desk

"Ah yes thank you, Severus" Remus said as Snape glared at me

"Well I'm gonna go do something else where now" I said "bye" I said happily to Remus and glared door I just came through wary look and then smiled at me and carried on her way to the library I guess. When I got to the common room I was bombarded by pillows being thrown by the Weasley's and Harry.

"Thanks for all he pillows" I said jumping onto the ground that was covered in pillows and was very soft and comfy

"No! She stole our pillows!" Ginny cried

"Not on our watch!" Fred and George said. I heard the foot steps of the two boys then I was lifted off of the ground by my arms and legs. I screamed while the other three through more pillows and scrunched up parchment at me. At my screams the other Gryffindors that had stayed for the holidays joined in and I became something of a moving target while Fred and George moved me around the common room.

"I HATE YOU ALL!" I cried trying to kick out of the twins hold. George let go of me seeing has he had hold of legs which was a lot more dangerous seeing as I was nearly kicking his face. With some quick manoeuvring from Fred he managed to get his hands under my arms so I didn't fall to my arse. "What d'you that for?" I asked George jokingly

"Your own fault" I said poking my tongue out at him

"Kat! Wake up" I heard someone yell from the foot of my bed. I opened an eye to see Hermione and Ginny standing there in their pyjamas faces alight with the excitement that only Christmas could bring, and boy was it contagious

"Merry Christmas!" I exclaimed getting out of bed and embracing the younger girls in a tight hug which they happily returned. The three of us quickly got changed then ran downstairs to see Harry, Ron, Percy, Fred and George already awake and sitting around the fire place. We all exchanged greets of 'Merry Christmas' and hugs before I excused myself to spend the morning with Remus promising to see them at lunch. As I walked to Remus' office I passed many professors who all wished me a Merry Christmas and I done the same to them. I even smiled at Professor Snape when I passed him he just glared at me in return.

"REMUS!" I yelled knocking on his door loudly

"Merry Christmas!" he exclaimed opening the door and letting me in

"Merry Christmas" I said hugging him tightly he returned the hug then led me to his sitting where he had breakfast sitting no doubt probably brought up by the house elves "Looks good" I said as we both sat down and helped ourselves chatting about unimportant things

"Harry wants me to teach him the patronus charm" Remus said suddenly

"To fight the dementors?" I asked him, he nodded in response. "I think you should do it, they seem to like him more than the other students and as we saw with the quidditch it could become potentially dangerous"

"I've already said I would, I was just wondering if you wanted to learn as well" he said "it will be hard to start off with and will take a while to master but I think it'll be worth it" he said

"I would love to" I said happily. After we had finished eating we exchanged presents. I got Remus some muggle fiction books that I thought he'd enjoy and some sweets and chocolate from honeydukes. Remus got me some chocolate and sweets along with an absolutely gorgeous locket.

"Oh Remus I love it" I said leaning forward to hug him "thank you"

"It was mums" he said as I opened it up. On one side was a picture of me and Remus smiling at the camera and then pulling a funny face before I poked his cheek then it went back to us smiling. The other side however was blank "I thought you could put your own picture in it" he said

"I love it" I said again putting it around my neck. For the rest of the morning we just sat in his dorm until one o'clock when we made our way to the great hall for lunch. As we were walking there I saw Harry, Hermione and the Weasley's walking down to the great hall.

"Oi!" I yelled "Wait up!" they all turned to face and stopped in their tracks and waited for me and Remus to catch up with them

"Merry Christmas, professor" they all said to Remus

"Merry Christmas" Remus responded stifling a yawn. He was tired which was understandable what with the full moon in three days he probably wouldn't stay for the whole meal. The nine of us entered the great hall and sat down at one of the circular tables that had taken the place of the five long tables, in an effort to make Christmas lunch less formal, meaning that different houses could sit together and teachers could sit with students. There was snow falling from the enchanted ceiling and twelve giant Christmas trees. There was Snow falling from the enchanted ceiling that was warm so you could sit there with out freezing. All in all, amazing.

"I love mums cooking an all, but nothing beats Hogwarts Christmas dinner" Fred said digging in a soon as the food appeared on the table in front of. Ron, George and Ginny all mm'd in response to busy eating actually respond.

"Weasley's" I mouthed at Hermione who giggle in response then nodded her head to Remus and Harry who were doing the exact same thing  
>"Boys" she mouthed. I nodded and started eating my food like the others, although not as fast. When we had all finished our dinner Remus announced that he was going to back to his room because he was. I wished him one more Merry Christmas and gave him a hug before he left then sat with others chatting about nothing until pudding appeared on the table.<p>

"Looking good" Fred and George said helping themselves to chocolate trifle. "Tastes good too" the said after they had stuffed as much in their mouths as possible. After dinner we went back up to the common room all of us trying out our new present


End file.
